On making mistakes

Recently I've been reading a book on yoga that I was given this christmas and the author talks a lot about action and consequences. We all know, at least theoretically, that every action has a consequence, whether it be positive, negative, violent or even just slightly uncomfortable. The whole point of talking about it, is that we should be striving to be present in every action we carry out, carefully considering what the effects of our action will be. I'm highly in favor of this approach, even though none of us are very good at it.

I would like to motivate you somewhat, with...you guessed it...a story. A story about certain types of actions, and their consequences.

Sometimes when we act, we act out of anger or excitement, possibly we act out of ignorance. I'd like to take you once again, to the more hilarious period in my life known as "childhood," specifically to a unremarkable day in second grade (there it is again). My mom worked a lot when we were young, and as a single mother, had to do things-- dirty, shameful things, such as putting us in the smelly afterschool program at the elementary school. Well lets be fair here, I tortured my sister so much she couldn't handle babysitting me anymore.

The afterschool program took place in the gymnasium, where we were kept like a bunch of monkeys, and thrown snacks and jumpropes and other various toys we could fight over. All in all we were remarkably unsupervised, and the dodgeball could get pretty ugly.

Adding yet again to your mental picture of me as a child, you may add "freakishly small," to the list. Freakishly small, yes, timid, no. There was a sixth grade boy, (I've always had problems with men), who was bragging about how high he could jump. Knowing physics at an early age, I began to badger him in a very whiny voice about how he was full of shit (doo doo).

"NUH UH, I CAN JUMP SO HIGH I CAN JUMP OVER YOUR HEAD, SHRIMP!"

ok. Now we have a problem. This is the part where your action will determine the outcome of the situation. Unfortunately I took the low road and replied,

"I'd like to see you try, idiot!"

What a stupid bully, that guy didn't understand the subtle nuances of verbal taunting. I didn't want to literally watch him attempt to jump clear over my head, because unless his parents had been forcing him to train for the olympics, it was sure to end in disaster. I realized my mistake early on and began to think of an exit strategy.

Children are pretty simple so my exit strategy was: turn around and run the other direction. The difference in size between a tiny shriveled second grader, and an overcompensating bully type sixth grader is pretty substantial. Everything turned to slow motion. I was pumping my tiny legs as fast as I could, but I could hear the horrendous thud of his light up nike sneakers gaining fast. It was cheetah vs antelope, and the cheetahs only goal was to clear the top of my head.

This would not be the first time physics would flatten me. He was going for it. I imagine his sneakers sparkled tiny red lights upon the forceful contact with the back of my skull, and as I fell face first onto the gymnisum floor, I thought to myself "Told you you couldn't do it."

My victory was short-lived however, since my chin had exploded on impact. I spent the next hour or so watching the gigantic bubble where my chin had been grow to enormous proportion. It resembled something like a biodome, and I imagine there could have been tiny Pauli Shores and rare species of fern co-habitating there.

SO anyways. I blame the ridiculous story of David and Goliath for giving me false impressions on the probability of success when combating larger opponents. Sometimes its a good idea to shut your shrimp mouth, and listen to those animal instincts.